I'm 37 and I just calculated that if I live to 80 I'm almost halfway done - and instead of feeling motivated to make changes I just felt this overwhelming fatigue at the thought of performing competence for another forty-three years - Silicon Canals

"The performing. The showing up. The daily, grinding work of appearing competent, put together, on top of things, fine. The maintenance of a version of myself that the world seems to require but that I am increasingly exhausted by the effort of sustaining."

"Self-determination theory describes a continuum of motivation from fully external to fully integrated. The fatigue I am describing is the specific exhaustion of introjected regulation."

"The fatigue I am describing is the specific exhaustion of introjected regulation. It is the tiredness of doing the right things for the wrong reasons."

A moment of reflection at age 37 led to an overwhelming fatigue rather than motivation. This fatigue stems from the pressure to maintain a competent self-image, driven by external expectations. Self-determination theory explains this as introjected regulation, where actions are taken for reasons that do not align with one's true self. The exhaustion felt is not due to sleep deprivation but rather the burden of performing and meeting societal demands.

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