"Six months ago, we had a major disruption when my 83-year-old father-in-law was diagnosed with dementia. Last week, he was admitted to hospice. We have no one to help with him, except for a sitter who is draining his wallet. My husband works during the day, and as soon as he gets off, he goes to his dad's. My husband and I have an 11-year-old daughter, and she and I literally miss him."
"Caregiving family members often experience profound isolation, on top of the frustration and grief that can come from watching a loved one decline physically and/or mentally. It can be hard, if not impossible, to find space for self-care or emotional processing. This is difficult for everyone. Your feelings of loneliness are valid, but please put them in context. It's neither your husband nor father-in-law's fault that this is happening and it's not their responsibility to fix it."
An elderly father-in-law developed dementia and was recently admitted to hospice, leaving the family exhausted and financially strained by paid caregiving. The husband provides daily hands-on care, which leaves his wife and their 11-year-old daughter feeling lonely and missing former family routines. The wife fears visiting because the house is in a flood zone and the basement has black mold. She is in graduate school and feels guilty asking for attention while recognizing this as a temporary season. Caregiving commonly causes isolation, frustration, and grief, making self-care and emotional processing difficult. Feelings of loneliness are valid and the situation is not the husband’s or father-in-law’s sole responsibility to fix.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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