"For a variety of reasons, food was scarce when I was growing up. Much of the time, food wasn't available, or what was available wasn't safe. I developed a lot of strategies around this, and now that I'm an adult, in my 20s with my own job, bank account, and a level of stability, I'm feeling like the strategies I grew up with-like "eat as much as you can when there is food"-are not working for my changed situation."
"In my career, there are semi-regular working meals, where between five to 30 people will have a meeting, and either the food is in the office and catered or we go out to a venue. There's something like this at least every couple of weeks, and I'm writing to you on a single week where there are six such meals scheduled, because I just straight up don't know how to act, and I don't know what to do about it."
"I'm not paying for the food; the company is paying. If it's a one-sandwich-per-person situation, that's navigable. But when it's buffet-style, I get incredibly anxious. I always put way too much on my plate, and I will make myself sick trying to finish it. Sometimes, I end up strategically leaving the room when the caterers clean up. If I have to watch them throw away the food, I just get so tense, and I can't pay attention to anything else."
The writer grew up with frequent food scarcity and unsafe food, developing survival strategies such as eating as much as possible when food was available. As an adult with stable income and employment, those strategies have become maladaptive during frequent workplace catered meals and buffets. Buffet situations trigger anxiety, overeating, physical illness from trying to finish large plates, and avoidance behaviors like leaving during clean-up or saving leftovers. The writer feels isolated because coworkers do not share these reactions, and experiences guilt and concern about health, professional optics, and how to manage recurring catered events at work.
Read at Slate Magazine
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