"Over the course of 17 years, I lost three of my children, Johnny, Reggie, and Miah, each under devastating circumstances. My son Johnny died in a drowning accident in 2005 at just 13 years old. Reggie, who had catastrophic epilepsy, passed away in 2016 at 17 years old. And Miah, my beautiful daughter, died suddenly in 2021 at the age of 21 from the same rare neurodegenerative disorder that took Reggie: dentatorubral-pallidoluysian atrophy. My husband has also passed away from this same inherited disease."
"I was focused on surviving, on breathing, making it to the next decision, the next day, the next hour. But over time, something shifted. As I continued to live, parent, and work in the world of mental health, I began to see something I never expected: Emotional pain wasn't just something to endure. It could become a tool. This pain could move me into a deeper purpose."
"Brain imaging has shown that emotional pain activates many of the same regions as physical pain, particularly the anterior cingulate cortex and insula (Lieberman and Eisenberger, 2009). When we say "emotional pain hurts," we mean it literally. It is real, and it's biologically encoded to get our attention. When we stop trying to suppress or outrun our pain and begin to approach it with curiosity, the landscape changes."
A mental health professional experienced the deaths of three children and a spouse across 17 years from accidents, catastrophic epilepsy, and a rare inherited neurodegenerative disorder, dentatorubral-pallidoluysian atrophy. Initial responses centered on survival, breathing through decisions and hours rather than on growth. Over time, emotional pain became reframed as information rather than a problem to solve. Neuroimaging shows emotional pain activates brain regions also involved in physical pain, notably the anterior cingulate cortex and insula. Approaching pain with curiosity reveals silenced grief, unprocessed trauma, and unexamined beliefs, and can transform suffering into a catalyst for deeper purpose and engagement.
Read at Psychology Today
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