"For most of her adult life, Niro Feliciano's checklist for the holidays looked like this: Host the family gathering, write greeting cards, shop for gifts, decorate and peel carrots for Santa's reindeer all while raising four kids and going to work every day. All the effort to make things perfect for her family left Feliciano feeling frantic and disconnected when the holidays finally arrived."
"One Christmas morning, she says she was so tired from preparing the night before that she could barely stay awake while her children opened their presents. "I remember thinking: I'm not here. I'm missing this." That realization spurred Feliciano, a psychotherapist, to write a book on how to stay present during the holidays: All is Calmish: How to Feel Less Frantic and More Festive During the Holidays."
"Change your perspective. Instead of naming all the things you have to do this season, name what you get to do, Feliciano says. For example: I get to make holiday cards, I get to hang out with my whole family. Shifting how we perceive these activities can turn them from obligations into privileges. That can take some of the pressure off too. Remember, everything is optional."
Niro Feliciano felt frantic and disconnected after years of exhausting holiday preparations, once nearly missing her children's present-opening. That realization led to a book offering practical tips and prompts to reduce stress and foster deeper connections during the holidays. The guidance emphasizes shortening to-do lists to focus on moments that matter, showing up fully for prioritized events, and reframing obligations as privileges by saying "I get to" rather than "I have to." The guidance also reminds that traditions are optional and that letting go of joyless tasks lowers pressure and increases presence.
Read at www.npr.org
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