Children experience intense and chaotic feelings that can shift quickly. While the mantra 'all feelings are valid' recognizes children's emotions, it is also essential to differentiate feelings from actions. Children may express feelings through behavior, and it is necessary to guide them in expressing emotions appropriately. Validating a child's feelings while setting boundaries helps in managing their emotional experiences. For example, acknowledging frustrations can help soothe them, even if the feeling seems unreasonable from an adult perspective.
"I don't believe all feelings are valid. They're not. Our feelings lie to us. Sometimes a whiny 4 year old does need to be told to stop whining."
"The common follow up to 'all feelings are valid' is '...but all actions are not.' In other words, 'I'm not going to tell you how you feel.'"
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