Dear Abby: My granddaughter is a nightmare, and timeouts are no use

"She is rude and seems to always do exactly the opposite of what an adult tells her to do. If her parents see her being sassy or ugly, they will put her in timeout for 10 minutes, but nothing ever changes. None of their neighbors wants this child at their home. To make matters worse, she has begun puberty. We can't stand being around this 10-year-old because it wears us out. We are both in fair health."

"We love our daughter and would like to have a good relationship with the whole family. Please advise on how we could help or what we should do. EXHAUSTED GRANDPARENTS IN OHIO DEAR GRANDPARENTS: A 10-minute timeout is not enough discipline for a 10-year-old's consistent bad behavior. Without further intervention, that girl is headed for big trouble. Please suggest to your daughter that she consult a child psychologist about how to get her obviously troubled daughter heading in the right direction before things become worse."

"We swapped dog-sitting to offset the cost for each other. I helped her when she was sick and when she broke her foot, walking her dog whenever she needed me. If a funeral, wedding or family emergency came up, I was always there for her. An aunt of mine in another state passed away. The funeral was scheduled, then delayed because of logistical issues. Mylene initially said she'd keep my dog, but when the date changed, she said she couldn't do it."

Grandparents report a 10-year-old who is manipulative, lies, cheats, steals, is rude, defiant, and socially rejected, while her younger sister is sweet and shy. The parents use 10-minute timeouts, which the grandparents view as ineffective. The child's puberty and behavior exhaust the grandparents and threaten the family's relationships. A 10-minute timeout is not enough discipline for a 10-year-old's consistent bad behavior. Without further intervention, the girl is headed for bigger trouble. Parents should consult a child psychologist to get the child's behavior headed in the right direction.

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