"Early in my career, a mother came to my office to discuss her daughter's calculus grade. When parents make this kind of request, I try to manage expectations by saying that as a school administrator, I have never changed a grade. Still, hopeful parents persist. In this case, the student had received a B, which her mother saw as a blemish on her otherwise spotless transcript. "I'm worried about how this will look to colleges," she told me. "Is there any extra credit she can do?""
"For years, parents and psychologists have been debating how much parental support is too much. But the stakes feel different now. In a world rife with anxiety, intensive parenting has become even more intensive, and some parents are deploying ever more sophisticated strategies to manage their children's lives-initiating protracted grade appeals, trying to protect their child's self-esteem by finding a part for everyone in a play, carefully curating extracurriculars to optimize their kid's future."
An overprotective mother sought a grade change after her daughter earned a B in calculus. Parents increasingly intervene to shield children from failure and anxiety, treating a single low grade as a threat to future prospects. Intensive parenting tactics now include protracted grade appeals, arranging roles so every child gets a part, curating extracurriculars strategically, and hiring consultants for social decisions. Such protection risks making children fragile by conditioning them to fear loss. Experiencing setbacks and learning to recover are essential components of building resilience and long-term success.
Read at The Atlantic
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