My Ex's Horrible Mom Is Dead. I'm Low-Key Thrilled, But There's One Problem.

"My ex-husband and I are nine months into a mainly amicable divorce, and we have 5-year-old twins. His mother, who was toxic, narcissistic, and emotionally abusive to her children, just passed away. She was awful to my ex and his brothers, making it clear she preferred her daughters. We always had a complicated, challenging relationship with her (she routinely told me how disappointed she was in me for having boys and for refusing to give her more granddaughters)."

"My ex always struggled with boundaries and his feelings about their relationship (he would only spend the most limited time around my family because "it reminded him what his family should have been.") After the divorce was initiated, I took great pleasure in blocking his mother's number from my phone after she left me a rambling voicemail calling me a spiteful slut and saying she hoped her son took my children from me."

"Our children had a very limited relationship with her and maybe saw her two or three times a year, usually for an hour or two at most, mainly to limit the chance of her saying or doing something cruel. Now, I'm not sure how to handle telling them and supporting my ex at the same time. I already pay for him to attend therapy, but I'm not sure what else I can do other than say I'm sorry."

The parent is nine months into a mainly amicable divorce and co-parents five-year-old twins. The children's paternal grandmother was toxic, narcissistic, and emotionally abusive toward her children and openly preferred daughters, causing longstanding family strain. The children had very limited contact with her, usually two or three brief visits per year to avoid cruelty. The ex-husband struggles with boundaries and emotional fallout from his upbringing and is attending therapy paid for by the parent. The parent blocked the grandmother's number after an abusive voicemail. The parent seeks guidance on how to tell the twins about the grandmother's death while supporting the grieving ex-husband.

Read at Slate Magazine