"If we don't push Leah, then nothing happens. But then, when we push, the you know what, it hits the fan. I don't know when my helping crosses the line into enabling. Whatever I say seems to make her feel more angry and anxious. I thought at this point, parenting would be easier and not harder."
"For anyone with a struggling adult child who has difficulty independently coping in the world, every day usually feels consumed by worry. The anxiety is not simply something parents get used to. That's because the reality of a struggling adult child's life is so radically different from what parents pictured and hoped for their grown child."
"In this world of perfectly curated social media images, there is more quiet shame than ever, especially when other families seem to be moving ahead. These situations are more common than people realize, yet parents experience isolation and shame when their adult children struggle to move forward emotionally, professionally, or financially."
Parents supporting struggling adult children face significant emotional challenges, caught between pushing for independence and enabling dependency. They experience confusion about boundaries, worry about their children's inability to function independently, and feel shame when comparing their situations to seemingly successful families on social media. The gap between parents' hopes for their adult children and reality creates persistent anxiety and worry. These parents struggle with communication, as their attempts to help often backfire, creating conflict or increased anxiety. Understanding that real change requires shifting responses to established patterns, rather than simply trying harder, offers a path forward for parents seeking to support their adult children more effectively.
#adult-children-struggling-with-independence #parental-boundaries-and-enabling #family-dynamics-and-communication #parental-anxiety-and-shame #changing-ineffective-patterns
Read at Psychology Today
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