The Holiday Ex Effect

"Memory Cues and Emotional Flooding Holidays act as powerful context-dependent memory cues. Research on autobiographical memory shows that familiar sights, smells, rituals, and traditions activate past emotional experiences stored in the brain's limbic system. These memories are particularly salient when those moments involved attachment figures. So if you spent last Christmas sipping hot chocolate with your ex or building a fire together, your brain may replay those scenes vividly."

"The holidays are a time when nostalgia comes rushing in-often uninvited, and sometimes wearing a familiar face. Many people feel a sudden urge to reach out to an ex this time of year. The question is: Why? And should we ever follow through? Below, we explore the psychological underpinnings of holiday reconnection, how to tell genuine longing from seasonal loneliness, and what to do if that "Happy Holidays :)" text shows up on your phone."

Holidays act as powerful context-dependent memory cues that activate familiar sights, smells, rituals, and traditions and trigger vivid autobiographical memories in the limbic system. Remembered attachment moments can produce physiological responses similar to present experiences, creating a warm, connection-like feeling. Seasonal social comparisons and cultural emphasis on togetherness increase loneliness for singles and the recently heartbroken. Loneliness, stress, and alcohol often drive urges to reconnect rather than genuine changes in the prior relationship dynamics. Before responding to outreach, revisit the original reasons for the breakup and evaluate whether substantive changes have actually occurred.

Read at Psychology Today