"In reality, many of us are far too familiar with the 'walk of shame' version of events where we shuffle towards the elevator, avoiding eye contact, and clutching a soggy cardboard box of hoarded office supplies. Or the scorched-earth romance policy, which seems to require a similar feat of coordination: viciously dishing about our ' narcissistic ex' with one hand while white-knuckling a glass of cheap Chardonnay in the other."
"Attachment Is Not A Preference From the perspective of attachment theory, our drive toward connection is not a lifestyle choice, but a psycho-biological imperative. John Bowlby, the 'father' of attachment theory, noted how infants are born neurologically unfinished and depend on caregivers' proximity for functioning, protection, and survival itself. Our brain development is shaped by relationships and calibrated through felt safety."
Many people imagine graceful, contained endings in careers and relationships but more often experience awkward, shame-filled, or destructive departures. Endings frequently feel like survival rather than completion or wholeness. Attachment functions as a psycho-biological imperative rather than a mere preference. Infants are born neurologically unfinished and rely on caregiver proximity for functioning, protection, and survival, which shapes brain development through felt safety. That attachment wiring endures into adulthood and quietly informs friendships, workplaces, partnerships, and identity. When attachment bonds begin to unravel, the experience commonly registers as threat, and the body responds before the mind can understand.
Read at Psychology Today
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