From Heartbreak to Healing

"The first year or two are the toughest. Feeling disoriented becomes the new norm. Emotions can shift quickly from one extreme to another. One moment, you feel happy and optimistic; the next you find yourself at the bottom of an emotional gulch. Regrets and second-guessing can haunt you. There is no escaping this difficult chapter. Some turn to alcohol, spending sprees or promiscuity. None of those helps. Instead, they numb the pain momentarily and incur a debt that will come due later."

"Embrace the fact that you need to find a new way forward. Be patient. Show yourself grace. Each day, put one foot in front of the other. Persistently apply those skills that have served you well in other difficult times. You'll eventually regain your footing, experiencing a sense of long-forgotten optimism and pleasure in the simple joys of life. Lonely Doesn't Mean You're Doing It Wrong You will feel lonely. That's part of grief."

"Divorce is the death of a marriage, and every marriage carries with it dreams, hopes, and memories. The future you had once counted upon is lost. A large part of the past has been so drastically rewritten that sweet memories which had previously sustained you now cause your heart to ache. Or worse, they have been relabeled as meaningless fakery. The pain of all this makes you feel lonely. But unless you were already a loner, this is not your destiny."

Divorce produces intense emotional upheaval, especially during the first year or two, with rapid mood swings, disorientation, regret, and second-guessing. Many people attempt numbing behaviors such as alcohol, spending sprees, or promiscuity, which provide only temporary relief and create later consequences. Recovery requires patience, self-compassion, and steady, practical action: putting one foot forward daily and applying proven coping skills. Grief often brings loneliness because a marriage represents shared dreams and memories that can become painful. Over time, perseverance and attention to daily details can restore optimism, calm, and renewed strength and wisdom.

Read at Psychology Today