"Your mom just misses you and is dealing with her raw feelings. Tell her you miss her but you are working hard to build your life. Let her know you need her support more than her criticism. She raised you to be an independent person, and that's who you are becoming. Ask her to stop berating you. In turn, promise to call her more and visit whenever you can."
"I went back home to visit this summer, and my mother admitted that she still hasn't forgiven me for moving away. I think she thought her transparency would make me more sympathetic to her feelings, but it only made me angry. It's hard enough starting over in a new place all alone. Why is my mom trying to make me feel guilty, too?"
"I'm trying to manage my social life as an adult and explore new ways to make friends. I always made friends at school, with kids in my grade or from my classes, but now navigating the real world on my own, without proximity and closed environments to steer the way, has been challenging. An acquaintance invited me to a gathering at his home over the weekend."
The writer moved away for a job and left family hometown preferences behind. The mother openly said she hasn't forgiven the move, which made the writer angry and guilty. The writer finds starting over in a new place lonely and resents maternal criticism. Advice recommends expressing that the writer misses the mother while asserting independence and requesting support rather than beratement. The writer should ask the mother to stop berating, promise more calls and visits, and continue building a life. The writer struggles to make friends as an adult without proximity-based social structures, attended a gathering alone, and couldn't join conversations.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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