Help! I Was Forced to Break My Engagement for a Terrible Reason. I'd Rather Die Than Explain It to My Family.

"I broke off my engagement to my beloved fiancé, "Tristan," in November. Everyone else in my family loves him. I'm pretty sure some of my aunts and uncles love him more than they love me. I told my closest people personally and sent out formal cancellations to everyone else who got a save-the-date. But I haven't seen extended family or childhood friends since I did this, and I will be going home for Christmas. I'm worried everyone's going to be really invasive and weird, especially because I'm embarrassed about the final straw that made me end it. I absolutely should have seen this earlier."

"Tristan is the life of the party, fun, charming, go-with-the-flow, and a people-pleaser. But he doesn't have a backbone when it matters. At his big family reunion this fall, his relative got more than handsy with me. Tristan didn't stand up for me or help me get away. When I tried to speak up, his parents swept it under the rug and he let them. His brother's wife confided that she had the same experience and now she basically skips all non-essential family stuff. This is why his parents don't like her. I'm sad and angry, but I can't get married to someone who doesn't care enough to help me when I'm in danger, or thinks it's easier to just ignore a creep than tell them no. And I definitely can't marry someone like that if his family goes all in on doing the same."

An engagement was ended in November despite wide family approval of the partner. The person informed close contacts and sent formal cancellations to others who received save-the-dates, but has not seen extended family or childhood friends since and will face them at Christmas. The breakup followed an incident at a family reunion in which a relative was more than handsy and the partner failed to intervene while parents minimized the situation. Other family members reported similar experiences. The person feels embarrassed and expects invasive questioning, and was affirmed for choosing safety and setting boundaries.

Read at Slate Magazine