I Accidentally Went in the "Backdoor." My Girlfriend Swears I'm Lying.

"She said nicely and politely that I could have asked if she wanted to have anal sex. I didn't know I was going into that hole, and told her so. She became angry and said I must be lying. We mutually started the act, so it's not like I was hunting. So I told her I was offended that she thinks I would just put it in there, and that I know it would require some prep and a conversation."

"Every once in a while, the stars truly align and an unexpected anal penetration happens somewhere on the planet. This is, however, exceedingly rare. I have never in my whole life even heard of a situation where the person doing the penetrating proceeded all the way through that sex without noticing. Carmen shares some of the responsibility for failing to speak up and put a stop to sex she didn't want, and we'll get to that later,"

A couple with six months of dating experienced unexpected anal penetration during sex in the spoon position. The penetrated partner did not consent or realize penetration was anal and felt physically different; the other partner later accused them of lying about awareness. The incident reveals a lack of prior discussion about anal sex and mismatched expectations about explicit consent and preparation. Shared responsibility exists for both failing to pause and clarify during sex, but the person penetrating should have noticed. Persistent disbelief from the partner about the claimant's account signals trust and communication problems that may justify ending the relationship.

Read at Slate Magazine