I Caught My Son's After-School Counselor Doing Something Unbelievable. I Have to Act.

"My 12-year-old son goes to an after-school program oriented around healthy living. They learn to cook vegetarian dishes, do yoga and meditation, and learn about various topics such as healthy sexuality and substance abuse. I'm extremely passionate about all of these things and was delighted to hear that my son was enjoying it as well when he started going two years ago, especially because he had never particularly liked sports or other extracurriculars."

"He really looks up to the only male counselor, "Drew." His father and I divorced when he was 7, and he only spends time with his dad over the holidays, so it is extremely important to me that he has positive male role models in his life. But recently, while running errands on the weekend without my son, I found Drew doing something horrible."

"I walked past a bar with some people smoking cigarettes outside-and Drew was one of them! I didn't confront him but was shocked and concerned. To my knowledge there aren't official rules in the program about staff using substances outside of work, but I would hope that the staff believe in a "practice what you preach" mindset! There are plenty of places they could work with kids that don't emphasize the values this program does."

"I feel let down and am worried about what other behaviors Drew might engage in outside of work, and if he would ever let anything slip that my son would find out about. I'm worried that it would either damage my son's relationship with him, or, even worse, entice my son to dabble in these behaviors since he looks up to Drew so much. Is it appropriate to reach out to the leadership staff of the program about what I saw?"

A parent reports a 12-year-old son attends an after-school healthy-living program that teaches vegetarian cooking, yoga, meditation, healthy sexuality, and substance-abuse education. The son admires the program's only male counselor, Drew, especially because the child has limited contact with his father after a divorce. The parent observed Drew smoking outside a bar on a weekend and felt shocked and concerned. The parent notes no official rules about staff substance use off-duty but expects staff to practice what they preach. The parent worries that knowledge of Drew's behavior could harm or influence the son and asks whether to notify program leadership.

Read at Slate Magazine