"Recently, because of a combination of diabetes and antidepressants, I started suffering from erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia. This has confused my wife. She wonders if I am still attracted to her, or if there's something she's not doing right. She feels bad having orgasms when I do not. When I do climax, it feels like I won the lottery. She tells me she is happy and comforts me."
"She knows I need a lot of foreplay to get things going, but ever since the E.D. and anorgasmia, she doesn't try things like oral sex anymore. I have told her I need foreplay if she wants to get my engine started, but she thinks because she is naked, that should be enough to get me ready. It's not that simple. I need to watch porn to get me started these days."
A 47-year-old, married man reports a previously mutually focused sex life that has been disrupted by diabetes- and antidepressant-related erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia. His wife feels confused and guilty when he does not orgasm and has stopped initiating sex and foreplay. The man needs extended foreplay and sometimes pornography to become aroused, and he has told his wife that nudity alone is insufficient. Recommended actions include using clear, affirmative statements to express ongoing desire, acknowledging the medical condition, explaining specific foreplay needs, and requesting partner initiation and concrete techniques to rebuild shared sexual intimacy.
Read at Slate Magazine
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