"I can never be upset about anything. Anytime, and I mean ANYtime I bring up something that upsets me, it gets turned around into how whatever she did that upset me is my fault. I end up fuming, but then ultimately apologize so that I can keep some semblance of peace. I'm not respected. I'm not desired. For a significant portion of the year when she coaches, I'm invisible. I try to express what I need physically, and it's usually ignored. Need I go on?"
"What made it work for us was that we both agreed on doing 50% of the work. Sometimes, I do more work, and sometimes it's less, but it usually evens out. I help more inside in the winter and less during the summer. Our only issue is the lack of any love life. I knew it going into the marriage, and I thought it would be OK, but I miss feeling wanted or desired more than anything."
Married men describe communication breakdowns where complaints are deflected and they apologize to preserve peace, leading to feelings of disrespect and lack of desire. Several report invisibility during a partner's busy periods and unmet physical needs. Some couples manage finances and household duties through agreed equal division of labor, yet sexual dissatisfaction and longing for feeling wanted persist. Men note a personal requirement to let go of selfishness and entitlement and to nurture separate roles as partner, parent, and individual. Long-term marriages often include stability and compromise accompanied by diminished intimacy and uneven emotional validation.
Read at BuzzFeed
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]