"One friend showed up very clearly ill, with a red, runny nose and a pack of tissues, saying, It's just a cold! I feel fine. Maybe I should have been more sympathetic, but I instead mentioned that I didn't want to get sick because I had a vacation coming up. I got hand sanitizer and wipes for people to use, and kept my distance."
"GENTLE READER: 1. Yes. 2. By being more sympathetic. Miss Manners suggests saying firmly, You're very brave to come out like this, but we won't let you sacrifice yourself for us. You need to go home and go to bed until you are well. Do you need someone to take you? On their way out, you can add, Please let us know how you're doing. We look forward to seeing you when you are over this."
A guest arrived at a small gathering visibly ill, claiming only a cold and refusing COVID testing due to cost. The host used sanitizer, kept distance, and worried about getting sick before a vacation. The guidance affirms that a common cold justifies staying home to protect others. The recommended response is firm compassion: insist the ill guest go home and rest, offer to arrange transport, and express concern and anticipation of seeing them after recovery. A separate situation describes a friend who constantly frames conversations around prices and bargains, creating discomfort and seeming intrusive about others' spending.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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