"Here's what doesn't work-pressuring your mate to have more sex than they want. Guys, you should stop doing that to women. And to yourselves. Here's what also doesn't work-having sex more than you want, month after month after month. Women, you should stop doing that (although I know that the threat of domestic violence does motivate some women). Women's role in this dynamic isn't discussed enough. But for now, I'll just talk to the guys."
"40, 50 Times a Year? In some couples, pressuring someone to have sex does work-20, 40, or 50 times in a year, maybe more. But you can't pressure someone into enjoying it. You can't force someone to be enthusiastic. And even if you succeed in having sex with someone when they'd rather not, you can't arrange to feel desired, attractive, seen, adequate, or close to someone that way."
Pressuring a partner to have more sex than they want fails to create desire, enthusiasm, or emotional closeness. Forcing sex can increase frequency but not enjoyment or feelings of being desired, seen, or adequate. Some women have sex more than they want month after month, sometimes motivated by fear or threat of domestic violence. Desire discrepancies occur across sexual orientations, but the primary dynamic described involves men pressuring women. Many men report feeling rejected, desperate, or like they “need” sex at a certain frequency and struggle to manage sexual frustration without pressuring their partners.
Read at Psychology Today
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