"Do you know your preferred love language(s)? In my experience, this question seems to be asked more and more often when couples are first getting to know each other-or when they've landed in couples therapy. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages is a longstanding bestseller for a reason-it simply and intuitively organizes the ways romantic partners demonstrate care for each other. Words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service: we have all noticed what these different behaviors mean to us when our partners do them, and vice versa."
"The idea of love languages, while appealing-who doesn't want to take a fun quiz to find out what their love language is?-might cause us to undervalue certain loving behaviors and lose sight of how no single love language can fully meet our emotional needs (Impett et al., 2024). They propose a different metaphor for expressions of love: the love you receive is like your diet, and you are healthiest when your diet is rich and varied. In this sense, the five love languages are more like fruits, vegetables, and dairy than they are a superfood that meets all"
The five love languages label common ways partners show care: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Empirical review finds minimal evidence for the central claims that people each have a single preferred love language, that there are exactly five discrete languages, and that relationship happiness increases when partners match each other's preferred language. The love-languages framework can encourage undervaluing of other loving behaviors and oversimplify emotional needs. A dietary metaphor fits better: people benefit from a rich, varied mix of loving behaviors rather than reliance on one dominant expression.
Read at Psychology Today
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