I'm 66 and my son and I have never once said "I love you" to each other - not because we don't, but because neither of us was shown how, and we've built a 40-year relationship out of carefully timed phone calls, fishing trips we don't talk through, and a nod at the airport that has to do the work of every word we never learned how to say - Silicon Canals
Briefly

I'm 66 and my son and I have never once said "I love you" to each other - not because we don't, but because neither of us was shown how, and we've built a 40-year relationship out of carefully timed phone calls, fishing trips we don't talk through, and a nod at the airport that has to do the work of every word we never learned how to say - Silicon Canals
"I never learned how to tell my son I love him. He never learned how to tell me either. We're not broken or angry or distant—we just come from a long line of men who showed love through oil changes and showing up, not through words."
"When I was sixteen and wrecked the family car, he didn't yell. He just showed up with his toolbox and spent the weekend helping me pound out the dents. When I graduated high school, he shook my hand. When I got married, he clapped me on the shoulder."
"Our relationship exists in actions. When his car breaks down, I'm there with my tools. When I need help moving furniture, he shows up with his truck. When his first kid was born, I drove three hours to the hospital and sat in the waiting room for six hours."
"I grew up thinking this was how men operated. You don't talk about feelings. You don't say what can be shown. You definitely don't say 'I love you'—that's for Hallmark cards and people who don't know how to fix things."
A father reflects on his relationship with his son, revealing a generational pattern of expressing love through actions instead of words. He recalls his own father's practical demonstrations of care, such as teaching skills and providing support during difficult times. Despite the absence of verbal affection, the bond remains strong through shared experiences and gestures. The father acknowledges that he has passed this communication style to his son, resulting in a relationship built on actions rather than emotional discussions, highlighting the complexities of male emotional expression.
Read at Silicon Canals
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