#conditional-regard
#conditional-regard

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People who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals

Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.

I became successful and my father said 'I'm proud of you' for the first time at my 50th birthday - and instead of feeling grateful I felt angry because I finally understood he'd been withholding that my entire life - Silicon Canals

Psychologist Carl Rogers, one of the most influential therapists of the twentieth century, identified something he called 'conditional regard.' The idea is simple but devastating. When a parent withholds approval or affection unless certain conditions are met, it can deeply affect a child's self-worth and emotional health.

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#conditional-regard#conditional-regard

People who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals

I became successful and my father said 'I'm proud of you' for the first time at my 50th birthday - and instead of feeling grateful I felt angry because I finally understood he'd been withholding that my entire life - Silicon Canals

#conditional-regard
#conditional-regard