#conversation

#conversation

You know that moment when you're walking away from a conversation, and suddenly the perfect comeback hits you? Or when you're lying in bed at night, replaying an argument from earlier, and you finally think of exactly what you should have said? The French have a beautiful term for this: "l'esprit de l'escalier" - literally "staircase wit" - that brilliant response that comes to you as you're walking down the stairs, leaving the party.

Sometimes, you can be talking to someone for hours, and it feels like only a few minutes. You natter and natter without ever having to think of what to say or cringe through any awkward silence. There's a gentle sway to things - you listen, they speak, they listen, you speak. The chat dances to the easy and comfortable rhythm of the conversational tide.

Not necessarily because of the flowing bottles of wine and the second and third helpings of dessert - though those are great - but because of the chatter around the table. The unexpected personal connections. The shared laughter, heated debates, thinly veiled gossip, spontaneous moments of revelry. The ideal dinner party is all about the company; not just how they contribute to the vibe, but also how each guest embraces the opportunity to meet new people.

The most basic structural rule of conversation is taking turns, with a corollary that conversational turns should be similar in length. If someone is dominating a conversation, then they are violating this basic structural rule.

On top of that, it's almost impossible to guess the meaning of if you don't already know it - and sometimes it's not even clear which context to use it in because you'll hear it said in such a variety of tones.