"We use the word complicated when we do not want to tell the truth, but we also do not want to lie. Think about it. We do not usually say: "I am staying because I am afraid to be alone." "I am cheating emotionally or physically because I do not know how to leave." "This relationship ended years ago, but we are still together.""
"What is actually happening in your brain and body? Our brain's primary job is to keep us alive. LeDoux (1996) and other researchers have shown that the nervous system prioritizes safety and predictability over fulfillment. That is why the brain prefers familiar pain over unknown change, predictable discomfort over peaceful uncertainty. Even when something is unhealthy, if it is known, the body experiences it as safer than the unfamiliar."
Many people remain in ambiguous situations — relationships, careers, or life decisions — without fully committing or leaving. The label 'It's complicated' often masks truths that feel unsafe to say aloud. The nervous system prioritizes safety and predictability over fulfillment, preferring familiar pain to uncertain change. That biological bias makes staying feel safer even when joy erodes. People may seek connection elsewhere or avoid emotional honesty because adaptation feels less threatening than movement. Early habits and social reactions can reinforce patterns of staying. Awareness of these mechanisms clarifies why leaving feels so difficult.
Read at Psychology Today
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