"There are all kinds of things we could murmur to our brains to soothe the fear of being judged. You could point out that almost nobody is looking at you; mostly people are too wrapped up in themselves. You could point out that you already know you're competent from how you rise to occasions at work; there probably isn't much to mock about you. You can pat and soothe your brain with evidence that the thing it's afraid of is very, very unlikely."
"Another tack is to say to yourself: you know what, it might happen. People might think you're wrong, or foolish or cringe. They might laugh about something you did. They might talk about you when you're not in the room. Now what? Would they get to be right, because they think this? Would their view about you matter more than yours? Would them looking down at you somehow mean you have to look up to them?"
Fear of judgment originates from childhood mockery and has left a lasting psychological impact. The fear causes avoidance of social and romantic opportunities and leads to isolation at home. The fear does not manifest at work, where clear roles and objectives provide comfort, demonstrating competence and leadership. Suggested coping strategies include cognitive reframing: reminding oneself that others are often self-focused, recalling proven competence from work, and weighing the low likelihood of mockery. An alternative strategy is acceptance of possible negative reactions and questioning their significance relative to personal values. Lack of early reassurance makes these shifts emotionally difficult.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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