"Before we begin: Take a moment, if you're willing, to notice what happens in your body as you read the word "rest." Does your breath change? Do your shoulders tense or release? Does a subtle anxiety flutter in your chest, or perhaps a wave of longing wash over you? Whatever arises-or doesn't-is valuable information about your nervous system's relationship with stillness."
"If you've ever found yourself unable to relax despite desperate fatigue, if you've noticed anxiety spike when you finally have a moment to yourself, or if you've felt more depleted after a vacation than before it, you aren't broken. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe, especially in environments where downregulation once signaled danger."
Rest resistance often stems from early relational experiences that taught the nervous system to equate stillness with danger. For many driven and ambitious women, gender socialization that emphasizes caretaking and others' needs compounds that pattern, making rest feel selfish or unsafe. The body can react to the prospect of rest with anxiety, tension, and paradoxical activation, even amid profound exhaustion. Recognition of these learned responses is the first step toward creating a new, safety-based relationship with rest. Cultural and economic systems that reward constant productivity reinforce beliefs that resting is irresponsible, sustaining a cycle of avoidance. Mindful noticing and nervous-system–informed practices can help retrain safety cues so downregulation becomes accessible rather than threatening.
Read at Psychology Today
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