"'Tis the season for joy and family togetherness, but for high school seniors, it is also the season to sweat over college applications. While the family is gorging on cookies during another viewing of Die Hard, the compromise Christmas movie, the teens are counting their extracurriculars and polishing their personal essays, aiming for that reach school on their list. And they receive a lot of help, typically, from their school counselors, older siblings, and you, their parents."
"Can your teen moderate their highs and lows? Can they bounce back from disappointment and heartache without going into a crisis? Can they recognize their need to reach out and talk to someone? How well are they able to regulate and control their emotions so that they don't spin out of control? Certainly, babies and toddlers lack that capacity and look to their caregivers. As they grow, however, their brains develop that ability."
College application season often prioritizes academic readiness while emotional and social readiness receives less attention. Emotional regulation enables teens to moderate highs and lows, recover from disappointment, recognize when to seek support, and prevent crises. Frustration tolerance has decreased in recent decades alongside greater internet and cell phone use, reducing some young people's capacity to cope with setbacks. The ability to manage autonomy and to make and sustain friendships is essential for navigating college life. A parent's readiness to let go also affects whether a young person can leave home and thrive independently. Assessing these skills alongside academics gives a fuller picture of readiness.
Read at Psychology Today
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