My Adult Son Legally Changed His Last Name. My Husband's Reaction Is Absurd.

"Anthony doesn't need his father's permission or approval to change his name. It's already done. However your husband feels about it, it's time to accept facts and move forward. I don't think it should have to fall to you to give your spouse a wake-up call, but since he's put you in that position, I'd simply remind him that this was Anthony's decision to make. Your husband's feelings about that are his responsibility to deal with-not yours, and not your child's."

"I won't pretend to understand why "the family name" living on matters so much to your husband. It seems misguided and frankly unrealistic to stake one's happiness on having children who have children who have children, etc., all while passing a single surname along. Many people don't have children at all, of course; the family name could have "died out" even if your son had kept it."

"Your son is still your family. I assume he's not trying to erase those ties or that history; the choice to change his name seems to have been about him and what he wants, not about either of you. Tell your husband that it would be far better to accept your child's decisions about his own li"

An adult child legally changes a last name without needing a parent’s permission. A parent’s reaction should not be treated as the other parent’s responsibility to manage. The importance of a surname continuing is described as misguided and unrealistic, since family lines can end for many reasons unrelated to name changes. The adult child’s decision is framed as personal and about what the child wants, not an attempt to erase family ties or history. The remaining parent should be reminded that the adult child is still family and that the parent’s feelings are their own responsibility to address. Moving forward requires accepting facts and respecting the child’s choices.

Read at Slate Magazine