"Adult children who are struggling, whether it is anxiety, depression, relationship turmoil, or life direction, often feel that they are drained by shame or self-doubt. Parents who contact me for coaching may have varied stories, but they share the sense of feeling powerless. Often these parents feel conflicted between wanting to help and fearing that their help will be dismissed or not appreciated."
"Yet is a small, yet mighty word. A word that acknowledges the reality of the present but does not cement it as a permanent fate. When they say, 'You don't seem to have found your direction, yet.' Or, 'You are struggling to have a sense of discipline, yet.' This validates the adult child's struggle but also conveys some seeds of hope and possibility."
"As I write in my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, rigidly labeling an adult child as a failure or a lost cause is deeply hurtful and stigmatizing. The subtle shift that comes with 'yet' reframes the adult child's struggles as more temporary, leaving the door open for growth. Most importantly, as my parent coaching clients report to me, 'yet' reduces shame and lowers defensiveness."
Struggling adult children frequently experience shame, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, relationship turmoil, or uncertainty about life direction. Some parents feel powerless and conflicted between wanting to help and fearing their help will be dismissed or unappreciated. Introducing the single word "yet" acknowledges current difficulties without making them permanent, validating the struggle while implying possibility. Phrasing like "You haven't found your direction, yet" reframes problems as temporary and opens space for growth. This subtle language shift can reduce shame, lower defensiveness, and increase receptivity and motivation in sensitive, reactive young adults.
Read at Psychology Today
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