"You should be straightforward with him: Because of your past, the kind of play he's interested in would be too triggering. As of now, he should assume that it's off the table indefinitely."
"If he pushes back, or even worse, attempts to pressure or coerce you, he's telling you a lot about his lack of respect for your past and your feelings. This is a huge red flag."
"If he accepts what you say and keeps it moving, it's a sign of respect. You could offer to open the relationship so that he can experience the kind of play he desires."
A person in a relationship struggles with their partner's BDSM interests due to a traumatic past. They are advised to communicate their discomfort directly and compassionately. It's important to express love and value for the partner while setting boundaries. If the partner respects these boundaries, it indicates a healthy relationship. If not, it may reveal a lack of respect. An open relationship could be considered, but it requires careful communication and readiness.
Read at Slate Magazine
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