"Listen, if we all waited until we were fully healed, evolved, and spiritually polished, the planet would be a monastery. You don't have to be perfect to be in a relationship. You don't have to purge every childhood wound or meditate yourself into sainthood. You don't have to finish the book, the course, the cleanse, or the shadow-work workbook with all the gold stars."
"Because the truth is this: Relationship is the greatest spiritual and emotional teacher you'll ever have. It will surface the parts of you that therapy hasn't met yet. It will ask you to practice what you "understand" but haven't embodied. It will show you the corners where you still abandon yourself and the places where you've quietly begun to choose differently."
"Real healing in relationship looks like this: wanting closeness and needing space in the same breath, feeling attraction and wondering, "Is this truth or old trauma talking?" Saying yes while your body remembers all the times yes meant self-betrayal, and letting someone in while keeping yourself intact. Holding two truths at once: I'm ready for this...and also...I'm still learning how to be ready."
A widespread belief claims people must fully heal before starting a relationship. Perfection is not required; willingness to show up, notice patterns, and stay with oneself during emotional difficulty matters. Relationships act as powerful teachers that surface unaddressed issues, demand embodiment of learned understanding, and expose self-abandonment or emerging choices. Healing occurs while dating and within ongoing connection through moments of staying true to oneself. Real healing includes holding paradoxes: wanting closeness while needing space, questioning whether attraction is truth or trauma, saying yes despite bodily memory of betrayal, and maintaining integrity while letting someone in.
Read at Psychology Today
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