#personal-growth

#personal-growth

Listen, if we all waited until we were fully healed, evolved, and spiritually polished, the planet would be a monastery. You don't have to be perfect to be in a relationship. You don't have to purge every childhood wound or meditate yourself into sainthood. You don't have to finish the book, the course, the cleanse, or the shadow-work workbook with all the gold stars.

There is a holiday moment many of us know well: the quiet walk outside, the long exhale, the brief escape from a room full of people we love but sometimes struggle to navigate. This season carries both beauty and weight. It can draw out our best qualities- generosity, gratitude, warmth-and also uncover the places where we are still growing. I used to think this tension meant something was wrong-and honestly, part of me still does.

When you think back on your life so far, you'll likely see a few pivotal moments that played a major role in your storyline. At the time, the events might not have seemed like a big deal - a haircut, a part-time job, a quick weekend trip - but now that you've lived through them, you know exactly how they shaped you into who you are today.

When I think back on my life, shyness feels like an inner prison I carried with me for years. Not a prison with bars and guards, but a quieter kind-made of hesitation, fear, and silence. It kept me standing still while life moved forward around me. One memory stays with me: my eighth-grade dance. The gym was alive with music, kids moving awkwardly but freely on the floor, laughing, bumping into one another, having fun.

When I found myself in the wreckage of my third marriage, I finally woke up to the wrenching truth that marriage isn't for me. I looked back on my relationships and came to the sudden realization that, as much as I tried, maybe I'm not the marrying kind, have no idea what I'm doing, or am clueless about what makes a good life partner or how to be one. Or, likely, all of the above.

The first time I got on a plane was memorable - not because I was heading to a fancy vacation spot, but because I was going to boot camp for the Marine Corps. From the moment I arrived at the recruiter's office, the energy was intense. Family members were calling to wish me good luck, and my nerves mixed with excitement. I'll never forget when the pilot announced, "Let's give a round of applause for the future Marines on board."

Then, last year, a friend invited me to her birthday kickabout a casual game of football, I gathered. (I believe some call it soccer.) Had we been less close, I might have made my excuses. Instead I turned up to the park, determined to keep as far away from the ball as possible. To my great surprise, I enjoyed myself. Instead of running down the clock on the sidelines, I got swept up in the game, rooting for my team to score.

Think about the last time you ran into someone you hadn't seen in years, maybe a school friend. You remembered them a certain way, maybe loud, always joking, the kind of person who filled a room. But when you met again, they seemed quieter and more thoughtful than you remembered. For a second, you wondered if time had traded them out for someone else.

This book is dedicated to you, my darling. Curious, hopeful, determined, you.

I've often written on this blog about the complicated connection between money, purpose, and happiness. Some studies suggest that income relates to happiness up to a point, but the most enduring research tells a different story. The Harvard Adult Development Study, which has tracked participants for over 80 years, concludes that personal connections-not money-are the true key to fulfillment. Still, the question remains: Can we spend our way to happiness?

"Time is a thief." I learned this phrase in elementary school. It was regularly uttered by an administrator who, on the first day of school, would wistfully greet the student body, marveling at how much each child had grown over the summer. As a 10-year-old kid, I didn't put much stock into the musings of a middle-aged vice principal. Decades later, however, I better understand and appreciate the sentiment of her words.

Joy has the unique potential, compared with happiness, to foster well-being derived from living in alignment with one’s values, purpose, and personal growth.

Therapy is a powerful platform for learning and healing that eases emotional distress and jump-starts your ability to move forward and make intentional decisions.

"When it comes to others, I see light and love. I see confusion and fear behind their misguided actions. I see mistakes as learning opportunities."

To love anything is to be challenged by it. Love shouldn't hurt you, and at its best, it has the power to push you to your limits in pursuit of growing, changing, and learning something new about yourself.

Our past gains meaning through the stories we choose to tell ourselves. Memories are not fixed; they can be reshaped and reconsolidated. Changing stories frees us to pursue purpose and joy in the present.