"You see, the Pope has a buff that makes him impervious. You-as the protagonist, President Donald Trump-cannot beat him unless you backtrack to the dungeon entrance and say a prayer with Pete Hegseth. This will unlock "2 Corinthians," a spell that renders the Pope vulnerable to special attacks like "Mar-a-Lazer" and "The Power Grab." When I beat the Pope and collected a barrel of Iranian oil as a prize, I told my editors my overdue draft of another story would be submitted later."
"Operation Epic Furious is a new retro-style arcade video game that does more than jab at the cartoonishly vile and grossly incompetent Trump administration. It throws knockout haymakers. In the game, Trump must collect oil barrels in Iran and return to the U.S. in one piece. Along the way he'll meet kiss-ass allies like Kash Patel, RFK Jr., "Lil' Marco" Rubio, and fight bosses like "Handsome Zohran" and "Looksmaxxer Terrorist" in JRPG-style turn-based combat."
"Inevitably, your progress will hit a snag when Trump finds the Strait of Hormuz closed, prompting him to start a new quest for Truth Points, or "TP." After retreating to a golden toilet with the TP, Trump will fire off incendiary posts on Truth Social that temporarily opens the Strait... until it promptly closes again, forcing Trump to start collecting oil all over again. The infinity loop is the whole gag, and it's legit the funniest punchline of any political satire in recent memory."
"Think Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger, and first-generation Pokémon, with a similarly infectious chiptunes soundtrack. Inevitably, your progress will hit a snag when Trump finds the Strait of Hormuz closed, prompting him to start a new quest for Truth Points, or "TP." After retreating to a golden toilet with the TP, Trump will fire off incendiary posts on Truth Social that temporarily opens the Strait... until it promptly closes again, forcing Trump to start collecting oil all over again."
The game centers on Trump collecting oil barrels in Iran and returning to the U.S. while avoiding failure and fighting JRPG-style turn-based bosses. The Pope is portrayed as impervious unless the player backtracks to the dungeon entrance and prays with Pete Hegseth to unlock a spell called “2 Corinthians,” enabling special attacks like “Mar-a-Lazer” and “The Power Grab.” Progress can be blocked when the Strait of Hormuz is closed, requiring a new quest for Truth Points. After retreating to a golden toilet with Truth Points, Trump fires incendiary posts on Truth Social that temporarily reopen the Strait, then it closes again, forcing repeated oil collection. The loop is presented as the main joke.
Read at Esquire
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]