Someone says something to us, and we are suddenly struck with a sinking feeling in our stomach. Someone does something, and instantly we become enraged or alarmed. Someone comes at us with a certain attitude, and we go to pieces. We hear mention of a person, place, or thing that is associated with an unresolved issue or a past trauma, and we immediately feel ourselves seize up with sadness, anger, fear, or shame.
I'm sure you've come to know that bereaved parents are a tightly wound group that is easily triggered. There are the obvious ones, like the anniversary of your child's death, their birthday, or any number of tragic milestones and holidays. We know that they're coming each year, and we prepare ourselves for how we think we're going to feel, which is very often worse than what actually happens.