"Early in my career, my mentor would complain about how much time it took to respond to emails and I remember thinking "I can't wait until I'm important enough to have so many people reaching out." I was equating success with busyness and this perspective carried over to other parts of my career. I said "yes" to everything that crossed my desk."
"These external rewards were reinforced by the belief that success comes from being the "go-to girl," the fastest to respond to emails, the one who always shows up. The worst part - I have a PhD in clinical psychology and I develop and test treatments for high functioning anxiety. Working with overachieving women is kind of my bread and butter. That's how deep productivity culture runs - I'd helped countless people break free from "shoulds" to live lives more aligned with their values."
Early career experiences can lead to equating success with busyness, prompting people to say yes to everything that appears. Promotions and recognition can reward being indispensable and reinforce the belief that success requires constant availability and rapid responsiveness. Even clinicians who teach boundary-setting may still feel pressure to prove value. That pressure leads to exhaustion, diminished work quality, and reactive rather than intentional choices. High-achieving women can find boundaries frightening because dependability becomes tied to self-worth and saying "no" feels risky. Clear time and energy limits reduce overload and allow creativity and intentional work to thrive.
Read at Psychology Today
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