From the time we're young, we absorb unspoken expectations about when things should happen: graduate by ___, build a career by ___, marry by ___, peak professionally by ___, retire by ___. None of this is written anywhere, yet these "life scripts" quietly shape how we judge our progress and, more dangerously, what we allow ourselves to want. And in a culture fascinated with youth, we begin to equate timing with value.
We've been trained for years, if not decades, to go at a certain pace, react fast, and constantly strive for success. But at what cost? Workplace culture can breed constant reactivity, where multiple demands dominate our days. The question is about balance: how do we sustain good energy and personal growth throughout our careers, remaining curious and creative without burning out? We're actual humans needing a more inclusive, balanced approach to live well. That's really been the key theme, regardless of industry or level
Do you ever repeat affirmations to yourself, maybe while looking in the mirror or driving in your car? It feels weirdly powerful, especially when you say them out loud. And the ThinkUp app wants you to harness that power. Instead of listening to pre-recorded mantras from a stranger, you get to record your own very specific affirmations and play them whenever you like. The goal? To boost your mood, feel more self-assured, and maybe even manifest a few dreams.
Simple cleaning tasks like washing dishes can be a mindful act of self-care, but they can also snowball into a massive list of things to do that requires the lion's share of a weekend just to feel like your home is back in hand. This isn't ideal, which is why the internet is awash with methods, rules, and routines, like the 6/10 method and the 20/10 rule, to help conquer chores.
For most of her adult life, Niro Feliciano's checklist for the holidays looked like this: Host the family gathering, write greeting cards, shop for gifts, decorate and peel carrots for Santa's reindeer all while raising four kids and going to work every day. All the effort to make things perfect for her family left Feliciano feeling frantic and disconnected when the holidays finally arrived.
Like so many technological and cultural innovations, video games went through a phase of being blamed for all manner of society's ills as they became more popular. But as all but the most committed opponents gave up on the idea that video games might cause violence, a possibly more productive question has emerged - in what ways might playing games actually be good for us?
In these times of divisiveness, negative news cycles, and gloomy winter months, it can feel hard to keep our spirits up. But you have way more power over your state of mind than you realize, as my colleagues and I have researched and as I discuss in my new book SOVEREIGN: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos.
We live in a world that worships polish. Perfect photos on Instagram. Seamless podcasts with no awkward pauses. Articles that read like they've passed through a dozen editors. And now, with AI tools that can produce mistake-free writing in seconds, the bar feels even higher. Machines can generate flawless sentences, perfect grammar, and shiny ideas on demand. Meanwhile, I'm over here second-guessing a paragraph, rewriting the same sentence six different ways, and still wondering if "Best" or "Warmly" is the less awkward email sign-off.
Your pull for the week is Temperance, a major arcana card that represents balance, peace, and harmony, as well as patience and the need for moderation. If you feel like your life has been quietly spiraling out of control, then this one's for you. When Temperance pops up in a tarot reading, it's a reminder to analyze your routine to see what needs to be adjusted. If you happen to be overdoing it - or even "underdoing it" - this is your cue to softly land somewhere in the middle.
It sells us the idea that joy and celebration are a must; yet for many, it can also be a season of amplified loneliness, grief, and interpersonal conflict. It intensifies the pressure to consume, yet still gives us the possibility of being creative and sustainable in our giving and receiving. It offers us the opportunity for new beginnings, as much as it can remind us of how difficult it is to change, even when we want to.
I coped by keeping incredibly busy. I regularly informed friends I'm fine, actually, as I threw myself into a new job in communications, went clubbing every weekend, picked up a side hustle selling secondhand clothes and got suspiciously invested in my gym routine. If I could just keep busy, I thought, perhaps I could drown out the growing tidal wave of grief. And it worked, until it just didn't any more.
Neuroscience and sports psychology (for example, acceptance and commitment therapy) show that anxiety, perfectionism, and fear of mistakes shrink cognitive flexibility and creativity. The more we obsess over results, the more our attention collapses into the future. This focus makes us less present with what is happening now. As mental performance coach Graham Betchart puts it: "Stress is the absence of presence."
In the days leading up to the event, we scramble to keep up with our daily obligations while preparing food, decorating, and traveling. The day itself often flies by, leaving us exhausted and hopefully content. But the day after the holiday can be a letdown. If we enjoyed the festivities, we have to wait another year to repeat the event. When things don't go well, we grapple with disappointment or other complex feelings.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it is a time when we can give thanks for all of the blessings in our lives, but there is no pressure around gifts, maybe just a little anxiety about putting the whole meal together and of course, managing family drama. This Thanksgiving, I was feeling especially grateful for you, the folks who read this column, who along with podcast/radio listeners, and television viewers send me questions and feedback.
You might be holding your breath right now and not even realize it. You are reading these words, but a part of you is likely somewhere else entirely. Most of us live in a state of suspended animation, mentally circling in a vortex of "what-ifs" while our bodies go into autopilot. A single worry triggers a loop, and suddenly you are disconnected from the room you are sitting in and the people you are with.
