I love my mom a lot. But whenever she visits, she brings at least a few boxes from the attic - also known as the packed-to-the-ceiling hell where every single thing from my childhood is kept. The boxes she brings sometimes include a treasured piece of jewelry or a timeless toy or a long-forgotten photograph, but they also include lots of broken stuff, out-of-date books, and every single worksheet from second grade.
You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop. In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or being rude or disrespectful. You can even say, Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me.