#personality

#personality

Ever noticed how some people just seem unshakeable? They navigate criticism with grace, stand their ground without being aggressive, and somehow manage to stay authentic even when everyone else is playing politics. After interviewing over 200 people for various articles, from startup founders to burned-out middle managers, I've noticed something fascinating: the strongest personalities often share a common vocabulary. Not fancy words or corporate jargon, but simple phrases that reveal how they think about themselves and the world.

When an event, such as the death of someone close, affects you in a major way, a common idiom says the event "really hits you where you live." But where, exactly, do you live? Not in a country, state, city, house, or apartment, but inside your body? Until recently, I assumed everyone was like me, localizing "self" inside the head.

Cool feels to me like the stock market or Michelin restaurants: none of my business. I'm not alone. In a recent YouGov survey, a third of respondents said they weren't cool at school, with only 10% reporting that, yep, they actually were. Half claimed they were somewhere in between. But I know I'm missing out. Cool people are desirable and in demand; others want to be them or be with them.

Think about the last time you ran into someone you hadn't seen in years, maybe a school friend. You remembered them a certain way, maybe loud, always joking, the kind of person who filled a room. But when you met again, they seemed quieter and more thoughtful than you remembered. For a second, you wondered if time had traded them out for someone else.

Self-promotion isn't just a professional decision; it's a significant psychological gamble. Why do some parents want to be president of the local club while equally capable others prefer to avoid the spotlight? Why do some employees self-select for plum assignments while others duck? Science says it starts with personality. Self-promoters tend to be extroverts who enjoy the stage and project confidence. Some may even be narcissistswho areshown to predict leadership, alongside emotional awareness and self-efficacy.