Here is the beginning of an answer. At least for some people, some of the time, loving someone means altering the shape of one's identity to include the beloved. That is, the beloved becomes part of one's identity. Among the many ways one thinks of oneself-as someone with a certain profession, a certain taste in music, or in art-there's also seeing oneself as someone's partner.
I'm finally feeling over you and the weird bullshit that took over my brain to put me in this position. I'm still struggling to stop drinking but I balance life and haven't let that take me over either. I'm realizing what is important to me and trying to gravitate towards it. It's hard to not feel overwhelmed and sad in this world but I am getting by and I think I'm doing better.
"I was alone at home, trying to get over a heartbreak, and, at night, I suffered from terrible insomnia. I was just starting to play the guitar, so I would practice to see if sleep would eventually come and allow me to rest. Out of that silence and solitude-feeling like the only person awake in a sleeping city-this song was born."