#pacer-model

#pacer-model

For Sam and Avery, the argument didn't begin as an argument. It came up the way it often did, in the margins of an already long day. Avery had stayed late at work again. Sam had handled dinner, emails from the school, and a tense phone call with Avery's mother, who still stumbled over pronouns and pretended not to notice when corrected.

Reset is the fifth and final step in the PACER model we developed, as described in our book Love. Crash. Rebuild.. It's the point at which couples recognize that the relationship they are stepping back into is not the same one that ruptured-because they themselves have changed. Reset marks the moment when new patterns begin to replace old ones and the couple can experience their relationship as something distinct, something shared, something more resilient than before.