But sometimes, communication between partners fails to achieve clarity and directness; sometimes it leans into passive-aggressive criticisms instead. We've all been there, and we have likely felt uncomfortable when someone lands a jab against their partner in our presence. The partner ends up feeling embarrassed and may struggle to reply, since they usually can't respond in kind without escalating the conflict in public.
"I just had this conversation with my mother, who's been married for 30-plus years. Here's what she wants and needs to feel pursued." "Emotional safety, consistently. A messy house and a lack of flowers are neither here nor there. She wishes that she could go to her husband and say 'this thing is really bothering me,' and him not exploding (even on her behalf, not necessarily at her) and just being another thing she has to mitigate.
Numerous studies over the last decade have shown the negative impacts of the invisible burden of confronting racism on interracial couples. A recent study, conducted in 2024, showed that interracial couples were, on average, more likely to experience discrimination, higher perceived stress, more depressive symptoms, and worse overall self-rated health compared to White couples due to the impact of discrimination.
She wants to see me have sex with another woman while she watches. I kind of want to try it, but I am afraid that she will ask for something else in return, e.g., sex with another man while I watch. She hasn't said this, but a few years ago, she let me go down on her friend, and for us to be equal, she went down on my friend, who's a man. She gets turned on by this voyeurism fetish.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend called me asking if she could crash at my place that same day. I thought that was super-rude. She was visiting someone else but didn't want to stay at that house because her other friend has a husband and two children, and I have more room. I felt very uncomfortable with her just unexpectedly telling me she wanted to stay at my place instead of getting a hotel room.
When partners are unhappy, they communicate this mostly indirectly. They don't just express unhappiness during arguments - they're meaner, sabotage their partners, and deliberately stir negative emotions. They often have the attitude "If I'm unhappy, you're going to be unhappy too." Below are seven communication patterns people exhibit when they're unhappy in their relationship. This article isn't meant to be judgmental. Readers may notice they're enacting some patterns and on the receiving end of others.
Sometimes with loved ones and friends, the healthiest but hardest thing to do is to say, this is where he is right now and to accept that. You don't have to love it; you don't have to like it; some aspects of it can still pose a question in your mind. But, by saying, this is where he is right now, you acknowledge that he's on a journey and it may not be going as fast as you want, but you're along for the ride.
For Love & Money is a column from Business Insider answering your relationship and money questions. This week, a reader feels she's the only one working hard while her husband pursues his dream job. Our columnist spoke with personal finance author Ramit Sethi, who suggested having a series of conversations. Have a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.