#perfectionism

#perfectionism

This Virgo season has been unlike any other. It has given us a full month to practice a new way of being. The first new Moon and lunar eclipse on August 22nd cracked open the door to healing old stories about our worth. The solar eclipse on September 21st is about to blow that door wide open, offering us the chance to step through and claim our power once and for all.

Biglaw in particular runs on insecurity. Not only do lawyers work insane hours, they're expected to perform with absolute precision. From day one, the message is clear: Miss a deadline (even if arbitrary) or make an error (however inconsequential), and your career is toast. The culture of extreme perfectionism breeds fear and anxiety, yet it remains the industry standard. The question is what this is doing to lawyers' mental state.

I'd look for something new to take on: a class, a language, a project, a degree. Once, in the span of a single week, I signed up for language classes, researched getting certified in something I didn't actually want to do, and convinced myself I needed to start training for a 10K. Because if I was doing something productive, I wouldn't have to sit with what I was feeling. That was the pattern: uncomfortable emotion → frantic pursuit of something "more."

Many high-achieving women are living with burnout without even realising it. On the outside, they appear calm, capable, and in control. They're delivering results, meeting deadlines, and holding space for their colleagues and teams. They are often the people others turn to for answers and support. Yet on the inside, the story can be very different. These women are running on empty. They are exhausted, disconnected from themselves, and quietly burning out.

Perfectionism is a simple way to avoid dealing with complex life problems. Perfectionists compare themselves only to their best parts, fixating on qualities they lack.

They may feel responsible for younger siblings and even their parents, she added. They may also feel like they need to carry 'the mental load,' or the invisible tasks required to keep a family afloat.

The individual in this state is confused and, even worse, terrified. Whereas joy once felt within reach, anhedonia diminishes one's sense of agency.

"Good enough is as good as appeased." I love this phrase because it helps me let go of perfectionism. In my case, perfectionism not only makes a job take longer, but it also keeps me from starting it in the first place...Mary Poppins reminded me that good enough is, well, good enough.

Melinda reflects on her battle with perfectionism, stating that her drive for self-improvement may have caused her to miss opportunities for spontaneity in life.